Pete is every kink I have in a tiny pretty emo package

How did I live in this world before this picture existed. I mean seriously I spent so many years of my life without this picture and now that it's here I realize what the waiting was for.

Wow, just wow.

I don't think I could love that little brown white man anymore. Also I found out he's half Polynesian not secretly Mexican like I had hypothesized. Thanks f-list at Live Journal!

*stares at pic til eyes cross, whacks head to right myself.... .... stares some more*

I mean usually I'm attracted to him. Even when he's looking a tad bit wrecked or just not at his best I find something to swoon over or "awww" about but this?

This is fucking bananas. This is just sending my libido into overdrive. This picture is securing my wrists over my head and slow dragging my sensibilities while it whispers dirty dirty things into my subconciousness. This is what we in the fandom call a very good day.

Pete Wentz has given me the best Valentine

It's flattering because I didn't think he even knew me but apparently not only does he know me he also knows what I want most on this made-up Hallmark holiday. Apparently in the upcoming Blender my figure head and minor deity has this to say:

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR TASTE IN SEX?
I tend to be a bit prudish. I'm a make-out king--I'll kiss anybody--but as far as going further than that, I wanna keep my number down. I don't wanna tell my future wife, "Yeah, I've been with, like, 50 people." But when I'm with somebody, the caveman in me wants it to be completely deviant. Like, "Oh this isn't supposed to go in there? Then that's where it has to go."

SO, MAKE-OUT KING, YOU"VE KISSED BOYS?

I have. Anybody above the waist is fair game.

*swoons and dies*

Source: Idolator.com

Okay, so yah, he's said shit like this before. "I'm gay above the waist." but that was tongue-in-cheek "awww he's just funnin!" This is an admission ... no an affirmation. There is nothing to "admit" or be shameful about. He makes out with dudes. It's a thing. An excellent thing. That I hope he totally captures on tape or at least still camera and posts because he is the king of over share and its' only right to provide photographic evidence to his comment. In fact I hope every few months he goes a bit forward in his 'coming out' process and by the end of 2007 he's kissing boys on red carpets and talking about his graduation to below the belt fun.

Now let's get into fiction. The list of boys he's kissed or rather the list of boys I HOPE he's kissed. Please be advised that the rest of this post comes from my fevered dreams. In order of likelihood?

William Beckett from The Academy Is (This is actually a no brainer. They have actually pecked on the lips on stage and cuddled a lot but now I'm talking long leisurely kisses, Beckett's 9 feet of legs wrapped around Pete's slight 5 foot frame, hands in hair, tongues jockeying for supremacy.)

Ryan Ross from Panic! at the Disco (Ryan's fanboy worship would be a powerful compelling factor. Even if Ryan is way straighter than his clothing and make-up choices suggest, I just don't see him turning down Pete Wentz kissage. Also, Pete is fucking in love with that kid. Seriously.)

Mikey Way from My Chemical Romance (Apparently during Warped Tour 05 Mikey and Pete were in wuv. The gay rumors got so prevalent that it leaped out of the back alleys of slash and got into the general fandom. Mikey actually wrote a "denial" in his journal that read like an affirmation of its truth.)

Brendon Urie from Panic! At The Disco (Okay, this is a big maybe... like as a hyper little joke shared btwn them. OR during a game of 7 Minutes In Heaven/Spin The Bottle/Truth or Dare Their personalities are very similar in a lot of ways. I feel strongly that Brendon would make out with a dude if only for shock value, then he'd get really into it and moan into Pete's mouth and nip at his lips with his teeth and ... and wait where was I? Oh! Things could get complicated because I think Brendon is enamored by Ryan and Pete is too so it could also be some weird bonding over their mutual unrequited love. I guess you can tell that I think Ryan is the straightest of them and I know that makes me a freak in my fandom but whatevs.)

Nick Wheeler & Tyson Ritter from All American Rejects (Both bands seems to really like one another. They performed together for MTV New Years 2006 and it was awesome. Then FOB took AAR on their Black Clouds & Underdogs tour. Nick and Tyson will get their own entry in the coming days but as far as making out with Pete Wentz goes, Nick and Pete apparently shared a kiss on stage during BC&UD because Nick was playing Pete's bass while Pete sang or something so they probably did some serious kissing at some time during the tour too.

As far as Tyson, Pete once called him "The Hottie" and Ritter's reply was to call him a "Sex Machine" Ritter is just too damn beautiful not to get Wentz tongue and everything in my being makes me feel that Tyson would be amenable to such an arrangement. I'm more of a Nick girl but I love both of them lots. Maybe they all had a threesome!

Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance (There's no reason. I just think he's fucking hot.)

Countless other "scene" or "emo" boys (Because who else would he make out with after he made his way through the bands he knows or A&Rs for? For some reason emo boys enjoy kissing one another. It's counter culture or a sign of sexual protest. It's a delightful habit.)

Andy Hurley from Fall Out Boy (I know most people in the fandom see Pete and Patrick in a romantic/sexual relationship but really I see them as being so beyond that, like they wouldn’t' want to fuck up their connection so they don't fuck or make out or anything.

So why have I picked the vegan drummer over the soulful music writer and vocalist? Well Pete and he are contemporaries while Joe and Patrick were mere minors when they started as a band. Andy and Pete were in bands together before and Pete is always making comments about Andy's animal sexuality and all the mad fucking he does. Mostly I just have a fic in my head about Andy and Pete coming home from one of their pre FOB hardcore gigs kinda drained and falling into bed together.

Andy also said that he likes round juicy butts and Pete does have one of those. At first I took it as a code for "I likes black girls!" I promptly claimed him as my new white vegan boyfriend, but actually, the Pete Wentz fuckage is more delish so we'll go with that! :o)

PS In a slightly related note: Infinity On High is everything a rock album should be. I lovesit big-big!

Panic! At The Disco Hate You

And with good reason actually. Chances are you are one or really any number of the following:

1) A teenage girl who doodles their names and pastes cut out pictures of them all over your notebooks and goes on line to gossip about them, their girlfriends, their ex girlfriends, and spew all manner of crazy, unhinged, horribly misspelled, declarations of devotion as well as promote yourself as The Sacred Decrier of all Those Who Might Call Their Sexuality Into Question. Because "BDEN AND RYRO CANNOTT BEE HOMOFAGS BCUXZ THAY IZ MINEZ!" thus making the situation way worse.

2) A teenage girl who isn't exactly as maniacal but still comes to the shows thus, hurting their credibility with the type of audience they think they should have.

3) A reporter, whose only goal in life, besides patronizing them and asking the same 6 questions of them that every other interviewer asks, is to get into their heads and make them say things that can later be twisted horribly and printed for mass consumption, scrutiny, and/or contempt.

4) In another band who is "fueled by ramen" in a totally non ironic way because you really can only sustain yourselves on the yummy, salty, soup like noodley meals that cost like 1 and a half cent each; who drives around in an old smelly van from venue to venue trying to build a name for yourself and your little band; and who has nothing but vitriol to spew about Panic! for hitting it big after one single and the blessings of Pete Wentz (whom you used to harbor a total boy crush on back when FOB was largely unknown and "real, ya know?" whom you now hate because they've gotten successful and now they’re all "Hollywood and corporate, and bullshit!")

or lastly

5) A fan maybe part of the demographic in #2, maybe not, that writes long torid pros about all the gay sex that you imagine them having with each other, Fall Out Boy, and various other auxiliary guest performers such as Oli Sykes from "Bring Me The Horizon" or their one time tour manager Jack Marin. Perhaps Gerard (l) or Frank (r) from My Chem.

I've already revealed that I am in that latter group and quite frankly, there is no reason on Earth that I should expect anything but seething hatred from their quarter. What makes it so bad is that not only do I write lovingly crafted pornography about them, I write it in the journal that I got from inside their box set! Thanks guys! *blows kisses* Anyway, yah, Ryan is none to pleased about the misappropriation of their names and likenesses and histories in our bawdy literary pursuits. He thinks it's "kinda sick". Oh Ryan. So cute. So talented. So very dumb. Slash has been around since Spock and Kirk first were battling foam rubber aliens on moons of Styrofoam and Paper Mache. If it's good enough for them than it's good enough for you damnit! Slash writers are a pretty well adjusted and normal bunch if the two fandoms in which I've participated are any indication.

Brendon at one point expressed his utter consternation about the "gay rumors on the internet". I think he referenced slash too but I forget. Geez where the FUCK could people have gotten such a spurious impression?









Ummm yah.

So here we are. Panic! is on hiatus making a new album and still I can't get these little homos off my mind. They're all so cute! - Okay first off, before I go on - I don't actually think any of the members of the ACTUAL band are ACTUALLY gay. That's not how -as a slash writer - I work. Lemme 'xsplain: I do not know any of the boys I write fic(tion) about. I have no clue what their sexual orientation is besides what they tell me and the rest of the world in their interviews, and although none of them have said they are strait, Ryan did say they were not gay. There is a distinction there because we still have the full spectrum of both bisexuality and heteroflexiblity to play with, buuuut for the sake of argument, let's just assume Ryan meant that all four boys are strait. I can accept that. I actually pretty much believe that but I don't write about the REAL boys. How could I? I'm no biographer and as I said, I don't know them. I have used their public image to create elaborate characters (I try to be vague or in some cases, way avoidy about certain aspects of their lives.)

Slash is fun! There is a built in audience. There is all manner of interesting events and behavior to interpret. It's just a joy. I've met good friends through slash. It's my hobby and I luvsit! I even find their fan!hate delightful. They say they are appreciative of the fans and I think that they are to a certain extent. I mean three high school outcasts (I never get the impression that Jon was one) having access to all manner of punanny at any given time, who are beloved by millions? Of course they appreciate it. But we also, smother and break them with our adulation like a child might crush a butterfly by holding it too tight.

So sorry Ryan, and Panic! At The Disco for my part in bending your beautiful wings but it's just so necessary when you do shit like this!

Aye Dio Mio! What the hell guys? What the hell? The other thing that perplexes me about Ryan's reaction to the filthy pr0n that we write is that Ryan is very very aware of his sexual power. He plays the shy role but he used to post very provocative pics of himself on livejournal (nothing too raunchy just shirtless baby bird chest, close ups of his bared pelvis while he hooks his obscenely long thumb into his studded belt and kinda ... pulls forward, his ass and crotch in tight girl's jeans) that kinda stuff... wait where are you going? .... Oh, well just wash your hands before you get back on the computer. .......... ........... ........... Back? Okay, so you'd think that a dude who used to star in his own pedophile friendly LJ posts; allows and encourage his band mate to caress his junk in the middle of a show; and who styles himself like a more glamourous version of Shane from The L Word would be kinda light and breezy about slash which he called "pornfiction" but nooooooooo *rollseyes*.

*stops to "GUUUUUUH" over that pic of Katherine Moennig*

I'm back. Okay, where was I? Oh yes! Ryan as a camwhore! The reason I haven't linked the pics is because I'm actually not sure if he was 'of age' in them. Keep in mind, at the age of 19 he looked like a 9 year old girl so it's very possible, even probable that he was indeed 18 or older but I'm not sure so ... if your a fan you have probably already seen them and if not do a google search or go to buzznet.

My Characters

Ryan Ross (RyRo) is pretty much their leader. He's the lead guitarist/lyricist. He's the driving creative force behind the band. He can be a bit bossy and particular when dealing with the music/ presentation of the band. He's moody, artsy, and sarcastic. Like I said above he is pretty aware of his sexual power and uses it when it suits him but sometimes he retreats into shyness. Brendon is kind of his other half. He feels a kinship with Brendon that was immediate and crackled upon their first meeting. (I've got a fic in me about that). For him it may/may not be sexual or it may be and he doesn't really know/admit/ allow just yet but it's palpable and everyone around them sees it. The other boys defer to him and are protective of him at the same time.

Spencer Smith (Spence) is the drummer. He acts as the groups ambassador and as Ryan's Vice Chancellor. He's the best at smacking Brendon down if he needs it and he can give an interview without being too open about the low grade loathing that he and the other boys feel about everyone that is not one another. Ryan handles the art. Spencer handles the books. I enjoy Spencer in fic but the liklihood of me writing it is very low. I dont' have his voice. *shrugs*

Brendon Urie (Bden) is the lead singer and player of every instrument under the sun. All of them play multiple instruments (not sure about Spencer actually). He is gorgeous and hyper and sexy and finally FINALLY the world is letting him do what he was born to do, what the first 17 years of his life had denied him, international super stardom. He drinks in attention like mother's milk and is a natural showman. He can be pissy and diva-ish at times but the most salient point that one must understand about Brendon, is that Brendon is deeply, deeply in love with Ryan Ross. Sexuality wise he can be gay, strait, or other but at the end of the day, all Brendon really wants is Ryan. He admires him as a person and as a musician and an artist but mostly he just thinks he's really fucking blazing hot. I'm not sure if there is self awareness on his part about it even if it's obvious to everyone else even Ryan when he's not kidding himself.

Jon Walker (JWalk) is the cute multi talented bass player who they imported from the Chicago Scene, in other words, Pete Wentz's backyard, because their first bass player was apparently a massive tool. He plays the bass, keyboards, guitar, and he sings! They dont' let him sing enough though. They should. He's that smelly but adorable frat boy that lives across from you and who always needs to "borrow a few bucks". The ironic thing about Jon is that although he's usually thought of as the "strait one", Panic! didn't get so thoroughly gay until he showed up. When Brent was there, Ryan and Brendon, in an unconcious act of sexiness natural selection stayed in the middle of photos looking pretty and leaning up against each other like they were the band and Spencer and Brent were just their burly body guards flanking them and looking morose. Then after Brent got the ol' heave-ho, Spencer got more attractive and Jon joined, becoming the default paunchy guy but unlike Brent he does paunch in a totally OHMYGAHINEEDTOHAVEYOURBABIES!!! way. I might write some porn between him and Brendon.

Who Shot Who in the What Now? Pt 2

A most glorious element of the fandoms I find myself drawn to is The Gay or The Ghey as it were. The Gay (TG) is phenomina very similar to hoyay, a term coined at the website "Television Without Pity". Hoyay or "homoerticism, yay!" is kinda sneaky and subtextual. For instance, when Clark Kent is eyefucking Lex Luthor on Smallville all pouty lipped and dewy eyed, that's hoyay. Therefore, anything too explicite or specific leaves the realms of hoyay. That's where I see TG picking up the slack. TG is a little more involved and the best TG happens between heterosexual (or heteroflexible) men. It's more delicious or something. Ummm lets' see, how best to descibe the subtle differences of these two worthy terms? Okay I know, a little side by side action:

Hoyay ..............vs ..... The Gay (That's not Pete's own instrument)
See also: ......... /........ See Also:
Angel* ......... /........ Queer As Folk
Firefly . ........ / ........ Six Feet Under
Everwood ........ / ........ Wil & Grace (sometimes)
Star Trek ........ / ........... Panic! At the Disco's Stadium tour

*Angel did teter into main text when Spike admitted that he and Angel had been intimate once in the penultimate episode of the show. (!!) Still, no one eye fucked quite like David Boreanaz (Angel) and Christain Kane who played Lindsey the evil lawyer. That was the stuff of sweet sweet dreams my dears.

Why do I (and many women) find male homoeroticism to be so damn hot? Guys find girl on girl exciting so I guess it's just the inverse. I mean I know there is more to it than that but to analyze it would force me to be all thinky and nobody wants that so *shrugs*. It doesn’t' matter really. All that matters is there are men who will go out of their way to provide us with delicious boy/boyness for our enjoyment and many of those men are in bands, which leads me to my hobby….

Slash. Yummy porntastic slash. \o/

I started with Brokeback Mountain slash because I was devastated by that sad ass movie and although I had heard of slash for years, had even read a few Firefly stories back in the day, I was not a slash fan. Brokeback Mountain Slash helped me fill the void that the movie had ripped out of my heart. ... Also it got me back writing again. ... Much of what I write is porn of course but it's writing none the less. :op

So besides a few off hand comments, what qualifies some diminutive pop/punk/emo/rock bass player to stand as a shining paragon of gayness? Simply put, Pete renders all the boys around him gay as a tree full of parakeets. ... Okay maybe that's exaggerating ....

... or maybe it's not.

That long haired boy with the huge lump in his tight, tight jeans is William Beckett and I'll probably be dedicating an entire entry to him and another young man very, very soon because the levels of squee that this boy has brought out of me are quite remarkable and he along with his 'partner' in crime Travis McCoy lead me to this fandom to begin with. But I get ahead of myself. Beckett and Pete are friends and sometimes they perform together on stage and sometimes when they perform together they kiss goodbye and it's awesome as you just witnessed.

Let's see, Oh yah,

That’s Pete with Travis McCoy, that afore mentioned partner of William's. Trust me, there’s a reason one might bracket the word “partner” or “friend” with air quotes when speaking of Travis and William. We’ll get into it in a bit though. Let’s focus on Pete for just a little bit more.

Oh would you look at this! What an interesting article on Fall Out Boy, Pete's band.

For those of y'all that don't know who Ryan Ross is. ... Yah, I know. He's the lead guitar, lyricist, and mastermind behind Panic! At the Disco. Fall Out Boys's familiars.


Many of these first few entries will be about Pete Wentz and his gaggle of Beautiful Boys Who Touch Each Other All The Live Long Day but I'm sure I'll talk about other folks too. I mean, I started out with Jack & Ennis, moved onto some Jake Gyllenhaal/ Lance Armstrong and Jonathan Rhys Meyers/ Jared Leto, before moving to bandslash so there is much to discuss. Welcome to my humble nook on the net. Come on kiddies, let's all enjoy the glow of homogay's warming glow together! :oD

Who Shot Who in the What Now? Pt 1

On the surface I really shouldn't like Pete Wentz. He grew up white, male, upper middle class and with two loving parents. Then he went on to become a rock superstar, yet he's still all depressed and emo like he has anything to be particularly depressed or emo about. I bet he's never even seen a damn food stamp let alone been forced to attempt stealthy trips to the corner store like a ninja lest someone from school actually see him using the stamps to buy like eggs or something. No, Pete Wentz's blues aint like mine. Not that I had a completely horrible childhood but I didn't make it out of my teens with both my parents alive so you know there's that... I'm not bitter though ... okay obviously in the deep recesses there's the lime tang of bitterness but that's far overshadowed by my "YAAY PETE!" reaction whenever I see/ hear/ fantasize *ahem* about him. I find myself endlessly amused and charmed by his antics even as his visage elicits my dreamy eyed sighing lust.

So yah, I like Pete. Oh there is so much to like. He seems genuinely sweet and kind but also kinda fucked up and a little insecure but in the same way a lot of us are fucked up and a little insecure and that makes him all relatable and stuff. Also, and this cannot be overstated. Pete Wentz wear's guyliner like nobody's business.

I love dudes in make-up and spiky hair and Peter just does that look to perfection. I admire how open he is with the world and how he wears his psychological scrapes as a badge of honor and instead of balling up into a fetal knot in a corner he takes all his angst and channels it into some of the best fucking lyrics I've ever had the pleasure of screeching at the top of my lungs in the shower. My favorite thing about him though is that he's always, always, always pushing the limit on male sexuality and creates a sphere of comfort for homoerotic expression wherever he goes. He's not the first rocker to do this. Homoerotic stage antics seem to be a staple of rock life, but I admire Pete's sheer commitment to it. He just goes that extra mile, ya know?

He's also ambitious and hard working, which is a plus but it can also be kind of troublesome when he seems to idolize the likes of Jay-Z and other rappers. Let me 'xplain. I'm a hip hop refugee. I grew up in hip-hop but fled from it right around the time Snoop was telling me that "Bitches Aint Shit But Hoes and Tricks" and Biggie was informing me that I won't get "nathan but penetration" and of course Jay-Z and Foxy Brown were talking about "Aint No N**ga" ... so yah, Pete, darling dearest, I love you. I want to keep loving you. Don't collaborate with Snoop or anybody, mkay. Please?

Despite all that disturbing fangirling above, this is NOT a fan journal. I know right? I'm a fan of stuff so if squeeing and gasping and geeking out is needed, I will do what I must but really the fandom bit is just a jumping off point for me to run my mouth and pop mad shit. My main goal though, is not to propagate or celebrate the fame of anyone. It's a space for me to explore my own observations and reactions to my various fandoms (obsessions). Oh and there is so much to analyze and critique with these characters whose CDs I listen to or whose movies I replay all the time. "But Squall," you ask. "wouldn't it be best for you to analyze the inner reaches of your own character and soul?" And to you I say "Yah, but I don't wanna." So gay acting famous boys it is. Huzzah!

So we're clear right? This blog isn’t' really about Pete Wentz. Think of him ... think of him as a figure head. Okay, before I continue, I'll give you a minute to snicker over my use of the word "head". Go on. I'll wait. ...... ..... ... Okay then, so yeah, Pete stands for something larger. He's like a metaphor or symbol or something.

Cont'd in WSWitWN? Part 2